Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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