You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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