You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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