Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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