I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
