so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
