we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
