oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
