Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
