Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
