I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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