We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
