How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
