You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
