I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
