Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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