Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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