Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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