I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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