I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
