My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
