some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
