when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
