Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
