just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
