My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
