Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
