i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize