last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
