do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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