now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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