Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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