I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
