Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
