i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
