I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
