I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
