i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
