Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
