my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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