plz talk dirty to me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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