Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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