You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Pooping to opera.
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