Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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