Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
