only you would photoshop your dick
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
