She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
