I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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