I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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