he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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