just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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