I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
