the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
