I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
