Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
