I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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