I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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