I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
