you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize