You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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