So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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