How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
